On the rare occasion you are out, alone, no kids, no husband.. just you…do you ever get the feeling that you are from another planet? Ok, maybe not so much an alien but some kind of socially awkward out of towner?
Let me explain. You’re sitting at a Dunkin Donuts waiting to meet up with a potential employer. You ordered a coffee just because you feel an obligation to do so… you are in a coffee shop after all. You look around at all these “kids” on their cell phones and I-pads and wonder when you went from one of those “kids” to the weird lady sitting in the corner obviously trying to blend but failing immensely. You feel like an alien.
It’s odd how we become so routine and enthralled with our children and family life that we almost forget how to be a sole human being existing in a social environment. And how ironic that we yearn for some down time and a moment to ourselves but yet want nothing more than our children when we get it.
Verdict? Temporary insanity…aka Motherhood. We often don’t know what we want or when we want it, for ourselves anyway. Ask us what are kids have planned for 3 Saturdays from now, we can tell you exactly what, where, and how the day will be structured. We will probably even be able to tell you what outfit they’ll be wearing.
How do we survive being a mother that can’t mother at the moment? Take a breath. Like riding a bike, remember how to communicate with a fellow adult and release yourself of your mothering duties for however long necessary. You’ll be back to pulling your hair out in no time.
Explanation for this desire to E.T. phone home? You’re a good Mother. Simple as that. You love your kids and you devote every second of yourself to them..and that’s awesome. Keep it up Mommies!
Aches…pains…cramps… charlie horses…stiff neck…sore back.. take your pick. You’ve barely survived a night where your children ended up in bed with you.
The sliver of mattress offered to you on these long and frustrating nights is barely enough for your cat to find comfort on. How do your sweet little babies manage to triple in size during the wee hours of the night?… And let’s not even try and figure out how your hubby remains unaffected by it all.
Vertigo and the indentation of your body in the bed must go hand in hand because your silly kids can’t seem to grasp which direction a normal human sleeps.
Aww… they’re so sweet when they’re sleeping….. in their OWN beds. Don’t feel out of line when the urge to throw an adult temper tantrum arises from these sleeping arrangements. Jumping up and letting our a loud and growly “UGH” is completely normal.
It’s important to place your anger properly. It’s not your kids that are really boiling your blood… it’s their father. Jealousy is most likely the cause of this because Mother’s can’t imagine such an uninterrupted nights sleep. Must be nice…
So, you finally hear the birds chirping and realize you’ve made it to morning. The sun will be up soon so you might as well get up and try and baby your body back to its normal achy state. Everything in moderation.
As you limp toward the bathroom you turn back and glance at your sleeping children cuddled up together with Daddy. Suddenly every pain and aggravation from the overnight seems to disappear. Look at your beautiful family. Who could ever ask for more.
So Mommies, when your awoken in the night by your kids shaking your arm like an earthquake, and they ask if they can sleep with you…. remember in the morning you’ll have made a beautiful memory and it’s completely worth the insomnia.
Life’s difficulties do not discriminate. It doesn’t matter who you are or if you’re struggling in one area of life already, nothing about you is untouchable. You may have a newborn baby, a difficult teenager, an illness, financial struggles, or rocky roads in general, you are still susceptible to yet another weight on your shoulders.
There may be times that you feel like it is an impossibility to even imagine things working out. “Everything happens for a reason”. We hear this expression often in life and sometimes it’s easy to believe. On the contrary, it can also sound like a crock of you know what. How can you tell the difference? Well, you can’t. At least not until you discover said reason. Things become clear when you are finally opening the new door you were seeking after the old door shut in your face. Another expression.. “when one door closes, another opens”.
It all sounds lovely and encouraging but it’s hard to find that other door in most cases. Hide and seek isn’t quite as much fun as it used to be. All we can do is our best to stay positive and focus on all the things in our lives that are wonderful. Our children, first and foremost, are the #1 reason to stay on an optimistic path. They are precious miracles that provide living proof that everything DOES happen for a reason. Embrace them and life will fall back into perspective. Not only do our children naturally set things right again, but we have our loved ones (family and friends) that offer so much support and understanding it makes it practically impossible to feel alone.
Rock bottom only gives you one option and that is to climb. So strap on your harness and get moving. Wallowing isn’t appealing and certainly does nothing for you. Rally your troops and dive in. Seek, conquer and destroy!
We love our children. We love them ridiculously. In fact, we love them so much it’s astounding.
That being said, there is (like many blogs before have addressed) a necessity for quiet and alone time. We most often associate these rare moments with a date night or when we finally accept the help our family members have been offering for years. Down time to get housework done, run errands and what have you. Anyway, typically the down time occurs during the day or after the kids have gone to bed.
Let me start by saying, I know, understand and completely acknowledge the fact that sleep is a precious gift not to be taken for granted. BUT, there is something to be said about the calm before the storm. Getting up in the morning before your kids can really kick off the day right. The birds are chirping, the sun is rising, the house is quiet….Coffee takes better hot, I don’t care what you say, Starbucks. There’s an easing into the day that sets you up for success.
A normal morning, your kids are jumping on top of you or shaking you into the state of migraine. “Wake up, Mommy!” This isn’t a good way for anyone to begin their day. You can barely keep your eyes open and haven’t quite found your bearings enough to pack the kids lunch. Was that ketchup or strawberry jam you spread on top of your children’s peanut butter and no clue sandwich…? Hmm..
Point is, dip your toes into the cool water of day and slowly glide in. Whom ever said that just jumping in makes it easier was crazy. You can shock your body so many other ways throughout prime time parenting, save it for later. The herd will stampede their way in soon enough.
Mother nature is gorgeous, especially when you have the chance to absorb her. Give it a try, give yourself a chance, make a change. Get up early…. I said it…. You’ll be surprised.
Perspective. The definition of the word, according to Oxford’s Dictionaries, is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
All of us have different perspectives on the many challenges and responsibilities life throws at us.. some better than others.. Anyway, putting opinions aside, it is important to try and balance your perspective realistically.
In reference to parenting, pick your battles. It’s important not to make a big deal about the small things and just as important to do the opposite when it counts. Life is like an act of existing on a balance scale. When you feel yourself teetering on the edge, you know your perspective is off. Do something about it. Set yourself right. It’s as important to your children as it is yourself to keep an essence of equilibrium in your life.
Can’t pay the cable bill until next week? Then simply pay it next week. It is what it is. Next week arrives, still can’t pay? Cancel the damn thing, there’s never anything on anyway. Did your son just break the new toy you purchased for him hours ago?…. Sucks but there’s not much you can do about it now.. You live, you learn. Buy him the cheap toys or get a second job. Better yet, a great perspective would say teaching your kids to care for their toys or they won’t have any at all might be the way to go.
The point is that life isn’t an emergency all the time. Statistically speaking, the odds are on your side that things will be alright. Get a grip, hold your grip and don’t loose sight of what really matters.
It’s here ladies… The single day set on the calendar to specifically celebrate us. Mother’s Day.
All jokes aside, silliness will return with the next blog, this is an important day. Mother’s Day is a holiday to recognize the hard work we put forth day in and day out, all year long. Not only is it about honoring the work we do but the love with give as well. Although it comes naturally to nurture and love your children, it takes a whole lot of love to keep up with the tasks of motherhood.
We most often are putting our own needs aside (the back burner is a very comfortable place for Mommies) and constantly making sure that our family has everything they need. We wouldn’t want it any other way!
Well not today! At least for the most part… Mother’s Day is a day for us to try and sit back, relax and soak in the rewards of being a Mom. Extra kisses and squeezes from your children are the best gifts you could hope for.
Along with enjoying the celebration of ourselves, we also commend our own mother’s, mother’s in law, grandmother’s, step-mother’s and anyone who we honor as a maternal figure in our lives. Thank you Mom. Thank you for everything. There aren’t enough words (I’m sure we all agree) to express the gratitude for everything you have done. Examples set, indisputable support, life altering advice, devotion like no other, and simply the LOVE given.
Happy Mother’s Day to every single Mother that is, was, and will be.