…We’re sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed…

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The kids are occupied. Proceed with caution. If they see you passing their room, your plan is apt to be destroyed. You’re attempting to make a…. (wait for it)… phone call.

Can you imagine such a thing?… I mean, why should we be allowed to have 5 minutes of quiet time long enough to let our mothers know that we haven’t booked it to Abu Dhabi…yet.

And need I mention the fact that deep down we know hell is going to break loose at some point before the conversation is finished. Just imagine the person on the other end of line trying to communicate with you… rolling eyes, tapping fingers, sighing… thinking “why did you call me if you couldn’t talk?..”

The demands of our kids are ridiculously intensified as soon as they hear adult vocabulary exiting our larynx. Suddenly any and everything is an emergency. Brace yourselves. They can smell aggravation before you even know you’re aggravated. Best to remain calm, collected and appear to be available to them. If not, temper tantrums are likely to erupt.

In the case of a meltdown (theirs, not yours) DO NOT even think about trying to put them in a time out when your call is still in progress. Much like the talent of a Broadway play, your children will lay it on thick for the benefit of their audience. You will walk away from the episode having played the equivalent to David Hasselhoffs portrayal of Jekyll and Hyde.

Keep it together. Arguing with your kids only gives them more power. They say not to walk on eggshells with your children but rules are meant to be broken. Tread lightly, hang up the phone (you were insane to think it was going to go according to plan) and deal with delivering the consequences of embarrassing you in front of your mother.

Bigger picture… your kids are crazy about you. They love you so much that they loose all sight of right and wrong because you are distracted. They want your full attention at all times and who can blame them for that. Greatest compliment in the world, being so needed.

Be grateful and remember that your children adore you almost as much as you adore them.

 

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